Supervisin' Aint Easy

I stepped up to a titled position a little over five months ago with the company I've been employed with now for about a year. My ignorance had me believing I could do this with no problem, no stress, and no doubts. Every perception and preconception I had, was, and is, fading like the color of denim blue jeans. 

And don't get me wrong, It's not that I'm some young girl with rose colored glasses on, thinking life is easy: I know that anything in life has to be earned and worked hard at to keep, and that things are not always as they seem.  I remember thinking in particular one of the best aspects of the position was the responsibility to help agents.  Do I still think this? Absolutely.  Only now I also know it's all about politics in helping those same agents: Protocols have to be followed, words must be carefully chosen, and emails cleared and backed up.  I'm not sure I ever considered being in politics growing up- but clearly, it's not a job field I'd be cut out for.

I also remember thinking there would be some agents out for my blood- those who felt entitled to my position because they'd been here longer or even had better qualifications. What I wasn't ready for, was the loyal friends who weren't so loyal.  Those who trusted me before the title, who didn't trust my answers now that I had one.  To this day, our friendship has never been the same. 

I also wasn't prepared for the backlash on friendship.  With the position came an understanding that I can't really talk about things freely anymore... which means the only ones I can talk to freely are those not in the company, or those in management with me.  With that itself, its ironic.  My supervisor doesn't return my calls, and everyone else?  Well that leads me to my next point.

I used to believe everyone in management was someone I wanted to work with, learn from, and look up to... but they aren't.  I've found that some can't be trusted because they tell everything to get ahead, and the others just to stay ahead of the trampling they worry they'll get. So maybe I do view the world from rose colored glasses. I've had to learn that some people will do anything to get ahead- including throwing others under the proberbial bus.